Agreement, Commitment, Follow-through

Another one of Cesar's mantras is agreement, commitment, follow-through.  Obviously, this applies to humans' relationship with dogs.  But it also applies to many aspects of life.

I'm sure Cesar could teach this better than I can, but I'm going to give you my interpretation of Cesar's principles.

When you decide to get a dog, you must learn the responsibilities required.  The basic necessities are food, water, shelter.  Dogs also require exercise, discipline, and affection as basic necessities.  Once you understand the responsibilities that dog ownership entails, then you agree.  You decide to get a dog and commit to provide those basic necessities along with toys and treats, etc.  

Once you have a dog, you must follow through.  This is the hardest part for most people.  Owning a dog is a long-term commitment.  10+ years for most dogs.  A lot of people, once they get a dog, may have good intentions, but slack off.  They don't follow through.  Cesar says you should walk your dog at least one hour every day.  I doubt many people do that.  A lot of people just provide food, water, shelter, and affection.  But don't give the dog rules, boundaries, limitations, exercise, mental stimulation, etc.  This takes work.   Most people don't take the time or patience to properly follow through.  That's why most dogs in America are not balanced.

Another example of agreement, commitment, follow-through would be goals.  When we set goals, we agree to do what's necessary to achieve that goal.  We commit to doing it.   Then we follow through.  All three – agreement, commitment, follow-through – are necessary to achieve the goal.

When I was a young child,  I wanted to become a doctor.   I learned what was necessary to achieve that goal.  Years of schooling,  hard work, moving to different parts of the country, etc.  Agreement.  Then I committed.  I applied, I interviewed, and accepted the challenge.  Then, of course I had to follow through.  I had to earn my bachelors degree.  I had to move to San Francisco.  And I had to work hard for four years to receive my diploma/degree.  Without agreeing, committing, and following through, I would not have received my degree.  I would not have become a doctor.

The same thing is true with marriage and relationships.  You date and get to know each other.  If you are compatible you agree to enter a relationship and mutually decide to commit to marriage.   When you marry you make vows to each other to commit to becoming a family.  But the wedding is not the end.  It is just the beginning.   Marriage and relationships take work.  If both parties in the marriage or relationship are not willing to follow through, then the marriage or relationship fails.

Cesar's trifecta of agreement, commitment, follow-through applies spiritually as well.  I saw this a lot on my mission.  We would teach people the gospel of Jesus Christ.  They feel the spirit and develop faith.  They like the happiness and peace that the gospel brings into their lives and want it to continue throughout their life.  Agreement.  Then they choose to repent and be baptized and become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Commitment.  A lot of people think that's all they have to do.  But again, that is not the end, but just the beginning.  After agreement, and commitment – faith, repentance, and baptism  – there must be follow-through, or in other words, endure to the end.

Follow-through or enduring to the end is what we must do every day, after we agree and commit to living the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Without follow-through, everything falls apart.  I have seen many faithful, committed members of the church fall because they didn't follow through.

Follow-through is a continual process that requires effort, work, and patience.  If we don't continually work towards living a Christlike life, and following God's commandments (follow-through), our commitment begins to wane, and our faith (agreement) begins to wane – and we eventually fall.

Whether it's building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, spiritually progressing or another facet of life – to achieve balance in all aspects of our lives, we must apply Cesar's principles of agreement, commitment, follow-through.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Cesar.

That's my two cents.

Follow Truth

If you know me, you know I like to watch Jeopardy! regularly. Recently a contestant, Amy Schneider, just finished a 40 day run.  Second only to Ken Jennings in number of wins.  Jeopardy! is claiming that Amy Schneider is the winningest woman in Jeopardy! history.  The problem is, Amy Schneider is a man.

When I first saw Amy Schneider as a contestant on Jeopardy, something was off.  I thought, this is either a man, or an extremely homely woman with hormone regulation problems.  So after a few wins, I decided to look it up.  Turns out, Amy Schneider is a man pretending to be a woman.  So, he really isn't the winningest woman in Jeopardy! history, but the second winningest man.

A few days ago I saw a clip on YouTube of Matt Walsh at the Dr. Phil show – I didn't even know he still had a show.  Also on the panel were two transgenders, "educating" people about pronouns.  Matt Walsh did a great job of defending truth.  Two of the points he made were that you can't choose your pronouns.  And you can't change your gender.

Truth is, you are born either male or female.  Every cell in the human body (except for red blood cells and platelets) contains a nucleus with 23 pairs of chromosomes (one from each parent).  One of those pairs are sex chromosomes which determine your sex or gender.   XX for female.  XY for male.  You receive an X from your mother and either an X or Y from your father.  It is basic science.  There are only two choices.

I understand that there are some unfortunate people who want to be the opposite sex, for whatever reason.  But you can't change the DNA in every cell in your body.  And even with extensive surgery and hormone manipulation, you can't change your anatomy.  Men will always have a larger bone structure, larger and stronger muscles, broader shoulders, and narrower hips – to name a few.  Women will always have a smaller bone structure, wider hips, narrower shoulders, and weaker muscles.  That's nature.

A man will always be a man.   A woman will always be a woman.  Regardless of how they dress or what they do to their bodies.  Therefore, you can't choose your pronouns.  Just like you can't choose your adjectives.  Calling a man she and her, or calling a woman he and him is absurd.  And is a lie.  

It's like me saying my adjectives are gorgeous and brilliant and if you don't use them when you describe me, I will be extremely offended.  Which actually isn't even as bad as transgenders changing their pronouns because the adjectives I chose are actually true.  :-)

The transgenders on the panel on the Dr. Phil show were completely astounded and offended at the truth that Matt Walsh was uttering.  They're used to people kowtowing to them and their delusional demands.

I have sympathy for people with mental illness and psychological issues.  It's sad to see people living miserable lives, trying to make themselves happier by altering their style of dress and/or bodies.  But feeding their delusion doesn't help them or society.

I'm all for agency and letting people make their own choices.  If someone wants to cross-dress and pretend to be the opposite sex, that's their prerogative.  But to expect society to lie and call a man a woman and vice versa is reprehensible.  It is deranged.

Amy Schneider is a man.  He is not the second winningest woman in Jeopardy! history.  Regardless of how he dresses, or how he manipulates his body, he is still a man.  He is not a she.

It is an insane world we live in where lies are accepted as truths.  When the basic science of biological sex is questioned, skewed, twisted, and perverted and people accept the lies as normal – then reality is obliterated.  When you can be fired, and shamed, for using the correct pronouns –  our normal, healthy society is not only sick, but dead.

Why do a few people with psychological issues get to dictate how society functions?  Why are lies accepted as truths?

These are the last days.  Evil abounds.  People are confused.

Isaiah 5:20-21

20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!

We live in a complicated world where reality no longer exists.  We live in a complicated world where good is called evil, and evil good.  Where lies are considered truth, and truth lies.  Truth is simple.  Lies are complicated.

Keep it simple.  Always follow truth.

That's my two cents. 

Exercise, Discipline, Affection

Another one of Cesar Millan's mantras is exercise, discipline, affection.  This also not only applies to dog psychology but human psychology as well.  Cesar emphasizes the importance of walking your dog  as a basic necessity for having a balanced dog. But not your typical  American dog walk. Where the dog is pulling, sniffing and doing whatever it wants on the leash.  If you do it right, the exercise is more mental than physical. Because the dog has to focus on following you.  The person walking the dog has to be calm and assertive and correct the dog's behavior whenever he loses focus.

Walking the dog is also a form of discipline.  Now, when we hear the word discipline, many people think of punishment.  But that's not what it means.  Discipline is structure.  This also ties into rules, boundaries, limitations.  For instance discipline is teaching the dog to not bark and run to the door when the doorbell rings.  Or not to jump on the couch unless invited.  Or to learn that food on the floor is not a free-for-all, but that he has to be invited to eat it.  Things like that.  That's rules, boundaries, limitations and it's discipline. Waiting is a good example of discipline.  Making the dog wait until he's in a calm submissive state before putting a leash on him to go for a walk. Or making the dog wait until he's invited to eat.  Even if a bowl of food is in front of him.  That's discipline.

Affection is the easy one.  Most Americans and most dog lovers practice affection, affection, affection. And that's not healthy for the dog nor the human.  This is why Cesar has a TV show.  When you give affection to a dog when the dog is not in a healthy state, you are reinforcing that unbalanced behavior. So, for instance, if a dog is fearful and you give it affection, you are creating an association of being fearful with affection. If you give a dog affection while they are growling or being aggressive, you are reinforcing that unwanted behavior.  The only time  you should give a dog affection is when it's in a calm submissive state.  That's how you create balance and stability in a dog.  Everyone wants a balanced dog.

Affection isn't only petting the dog, saying good girl or good boy, or giving the dog food.  But affection can also be just your presence – your calm assertive energy.

To be balanced, people also need exercise, discipline, affection.  Children need mental and physical exercise.  Just like dogs, kids need to be able to run around and burn off pent-up energy.  Children also need mental stimulation for their brains to develop properly and to be balanced and stable mentally.

Children also need discipline. Children need structure. Children need rules, boundaries, limitations. Children crave discipline.  Discipline actually shows that you care and are willing to put forth an effort into raising your kids – or dogs. Unfortunately, many parents have become selfish and lazy and don't put forth the effort required to provide discipline and structure to their children. They'd rather stare at their stupid cheating machine and ignore their children – and dogs.  Discipline is absolutely necessary to create balance in children, dogs, and adults.

And of course  everybody needs affection. Dogs and humans. Everybody wants and needs to be loved. This is why a lot of people get dogs in the first place. They want that unconditional love that dogs can provide.  Because, unfortunately, a lot of unbalanced people can't find that affection in humans.  

Affection, affection, affection is not healthy for humans either.  Affection without discipline and mental and physical exercise leads to an unbalanced life.  Rules, boundaries, limitations are essential.  Structure provides stability.  Undisciplined, out-of-control people are not happy nor healthy.  Only providing affection and living without discipline – no rules, boundaries, or limits –  leads to misery.  I know plenty of miserable people who live undisciplined lives without rules, boundaries, limitations.

Now, the same principles of exercise, discipline, affection can apply to faith and religion as well.  Exercising your religion or faith is practicing it.  It is applying the principles taught in that religion to your life.  When people say they are exercising faith, they are putting their trust in God.  To exercise faith or religion requires discipline.  Structured religion is discipline.  I am a firm believer in structured religion creating balance in people's lives.  It certainly has in mine.

Exercising faith, exercising patience, waiting on the Lord, using our agency to make good choices, choosing to follow God and His commandments – all forms of discipline – are what bring us peace, happiness, confidence, love – all forms of affection. God's affection for us.

Cesar says exercise, discipline, affection.  He also says, calm, confident, love, joy.  The former brings the latter.

Exercise, discipline, and affection requires work.  A lot of people aren't willing to put forth the effort for the reward.  Cesar told the client on "Dog Whisperer" yesterday, "Life is work, lady."  Lisa and I got a kick out of that.  But it's true.  Life is work.  Anything worthwhile requires work.  If you are not willing to put in the exercise, discipline, affection.  You are not going to receive the reward of a calm, confident, happy life full of love and joy.

That's my two cents.

Rules, Boundaries, Limitations

Cesar Millan always preaches rules, boundaries, limitations to have a balanced dog. Most people with problem dogs don't practice rules, boundaries, limitations. They let the dog have free reign which they think is good but in reality is detrimental to the dog. Dogs need rules, boundaries, limitations to be balanced. In other words, dogs need rules, boundaries, limitations to be happy, healthy, and stable.

The same principle applies to humans. Humans also need rules, boundaries, limitations to be balanced. Children raised without rules, boundaries, limitations become monsters. They are unbalanced and mentally unstable.

So why would it be any different for us? Commandments are God's way of providing us with rules, boundaries, limitations. But a lot of people feel that commandments are stifling and restrictive and bad for us. When, in reality, commandments – obeying God's commandments – keep us balanced, stable, confident, and happy.

Those who don't practice rules, boundaries, limitations by obeying God's commandments find themselves living unbalanced, unstable, miserable lives. Much like the dogs who Cesar has to rehabilitate because their owners don't provide them with rules, boundaries, limitations and they become unstable and unbalanced.

A good pack leader provides rules, boundaries, limitations to create a balanced pack. A good parent provides rules, boundaries, limitations to nurture balanced children. And our Heavenly Father provides us with rules, boundaries, limitations through His commandments to help us be balanced, stable, confident, happy, calm, and peaceful.

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who cares for us enough to give us rules, boundaries, limitations in the form of commandments. So that, if we so choose, we may find the happiness, peace, confidence, and stability that come from obeying God's commandments.

That's my two cents.

Sunday School Handout -- The Fall of Adam

Today Lisa and I taught our Sunday School class about the fall of Adam.  Our lesson was Genesis 3-4, Moses 4-5. 

There is so much doctrine found in these few scriptures.  I am so grateful for additional scriptures and modern-day prophets to clarify the doctrine of the fall of Adam.  The Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price give much more insight into the Creation and Fall than is found in the book of Genesis.

Most other religions vilify Eve and Adam because of their transgression in partaking of the forbidden fruit.  But we know that Adam and Eve's transgression and subsequent fall were necessary steps in God's plan.

"We and all mankind are forever blessed because of Eve’s great courage and wisdom. By partaking of the fruit first, she did what needed to be done. Adam was wise enough to do likewise."  -- Elder Russell M. Nelson, "Constancy Amid Change", October 1993 General Conference

I am grateful for Adam and Eve and their courage to make the choice which made it possible for us to come to mortality, receive a body, be tested and prove ourselves so that we can progress towards becoming more like our Heavenly Father.

There is so much more I could say about the fall of Adam but I'm kind of burned out on blogging right now.  So I'm just going to attach the handout I made  for our lesson today.  We attached an Almond Joy candy bar.  :-)

That's my two cents.

30 Year Anniversary!

30 years ago today I began an 18 month journey that was the best decision of my life.  I had contemplated serving a mission my whole life.  After I thought I might want to change my career path from pre-med to nursing, I thought it was a good opportunity to take a break from school and serve a full-time mission for the Lord.  Incidentally, after serving my mission, I decide to stay on the pre-med course after all.

So, I left school my sophomore year at Utah State University and came home and worked at KinderCare to earn money for my mission.  I worked there maybe eight or nine months.  I did the necessary steps and paperwork to apply to serve a mission.  After you submit your papers, there is about a three week wait until you get your call in the mail.  There is much anticipation during that time because you could be called anywhere in the world speaking any language.

I received my mission call in the mail in October 1991.  Opening a mission call is a rite of passage and something you never forget.

I was called to serve in the Florida Tampa Mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  English-speaking.  (We did have Spanish speaking missionaries in my mission).  I was thrilled!  So excited to be staying stateside and speaking English! 

I was to report to the Provo MTC on January 15, 1992.  There I would receive intensive training for three weeks, then fly to Tampa, Florida.  What we call the mission field.

On Sunday, January 12, 1992 I gave my missionary farewell talk in church.  Then on Wednesday, January 15, 1992 my family drove the 4 mile, 10-15 minute drive from our house in Orem, Utah to drop me off.  Yes, the MTC was in my backyard.  Missionaries come from all over the world to train there, and I grew up there.  Made it convenient.  :-)

Back in those days, families could go with their missionary inside the MTC.  They had a meeting and then it was time to say goodbye for 18 months or two years and then families go out one door and missionaries out the other.  I think it actually made it a little harder knowing that I could walk home if I wanted to.

The MTC was an intensely spiritual experience.  It was a big change and quite a challenge.  But I made it through.  And before I knew it I was off to the mission field.  

Pointing to my mission on the giant world map at the MTC.  I think every missionary has this picture.

My MTC district with our evening teacher.  In the hallway outside of our classroom.  January 1992

This classroom is where I spent most of my waking hours at the MTC.  The empty chair is my desk.

Me (Sister Stone), Sister Paulson, Sister Parent in our MTC classroom.

Me and Sister Paulson studying in our MTC bedroom. Sister Parent shared the room with us and had a desk on the other side.  There were two sets of bunk beds per room.

Taking a break from studying pose for this picture.  Not sure what I'm doing with my hand.

The Elders in my MTC district on our way to or from the Provo Temple.  In the MTC we got to attend the temple once a week.

Sister Stone, Sister Paulson, and Sister Parent left side.  Writing letters and doing laundry on P-day in the MTC laundry room.

Another P-day (preparation day) with my companions in the MTC laundry room.

The Elders in my district posing in our classroom between classes.

My companions and I am with another sister companionship from a neighboring district.  Looks like we're practicing the first discussion.

Back then English-speaking missionaries spend three weeks in the MTC.  Foreign speaking missionaries spent eight weeks learning the language also.  

After my three weeks were up, I was excited to fly to the mission field, which for me was Tampa Florida.

From the MTC you board a bus to the Salt Lake City airport.  Also, back in those days you could meet your family at the airport and they could come wait at the terminal with you.

I like this picture of Lisa and me at the Salt Lake City airport as I await my departure to Tampa Florida.  February 5, 1992

This is the same photo as above but uncropped.  I couldn't find a picture of me with Juliet and this one is funny.  Juliet far left.  Michael far right.  I don't know why they both didn't just get in the photo.

Not the best shot of me but it is the only picture I had with Michael.  Michael was only 14 when I left, and 16 when I got home.  He changed a lot.

Me and Dad.

Me, Mom, Michael looking thrilled to see me.

Somewhere 30,000 feet over the United States of America between Salt Lake City and Tampa Florida.  February 5, 1992

My first area, Zephyrhills, Florida.  Tracting with my trainer, Sister Beck.  We ran into this little boy and his family on the road burning ants with a magnifying glass.  For some reason, little kids love me.  :-)  We had never met this family before.

This is where we lived in Zephyrhills.  A tiny one-bedroom apartment.  Those mailboxes are where I got all my letters.  And of course our mission car, a white Ford tempo.

We spent a minimum of 15 hours per week tracting (knocking doors).  We always carried Books of Mormon with us and usually a survey.

Notice the mud splattered on the back of my legs.  All in a days work.  :-)

This was taken doing our weekly service.  We were picking up trash on the side of the road.  It was Sister Beck's idea to pose like this with the armadillo.

Sister Beck and Sister Stone.  February or March 1992

A billboard we made in the Brooksville church.

Sister Beck and I both have a soft spot for animals, especially dogs we encountered.  We would always stop and pet them.  One time I remember we came across a stray hungry dog.  We went to the nearest convenience store and got him some food.  I don't know if it was this guy or not.

The changing of the guard.  Sister Beck was going home and I received a new companion, Sister Shorthill.  Brooksville, Florida.  April 1992

Shorthill and I received a trainee from the MTC, Sister Vega.

Sister Vega and I got along well.

Looks like we snapped this photo before we did our hair.

Sister Shorthill and Sister Vega preparing to go tracting in Brooksville, Florida.  Spraying our legs with bug repellent was a necessary ritual before tracting if we didn't want to get eaten alive by mosquitoes.  The downside was that bug repellent usually ruined the elasticity in our nylons.

Sister Vega and I got transferred to Port Charlotte, Florida.  My favorite area!

One day we got a call from the zone leader asking us to dress in white for our next zone development meeting.  So Sister Vega and I had to go out and find white dresses.  We were also asked to do a presentation for the zone on baptism. 

Fort Myers Zone.  Summer 1992.

Sister Vega and I did a rap about baptism to the tune of "Ice Ice Baby".  We were legends in the mission after that.  :-)

I had a crush on one of the Elders in this Zone.  :-)

Sister Vega got transferred out of Port Charlotte and I received a greeny from the MTC.  Sister Wilson.  She was old.  She turned 25 while we were companions.  I teased her about being a quarter of a century.  She was born in Samoa but her family moved to Inglewood, California when she was young.

Sister Wilson and I got along great.  She and Vega were my two favorite companions.

December 9, 1992.  My 22nd birthday.  We were at a member's house.  The kid behind me, Nick, we taught and baptized.

A couple we were teaching invited us out on their boat.  We told them it was against mission rules but we broke the rules.  :-(  They told us they would not keep taking the discussions unless we went on the boat with them.  We taught them the fourth discussion on the boat.

It was super windy.

Sister Wilson and Sister Stone.

These were our first regular district leaders.  This was at a ZDM I think.  We had to meet outside for district meetings.  I only remember having one.  :-)  I liked just having zone conference and zone development meeting.

As missionaries we do four hours of service each week.  This was when we worked at the Sheriff's office inputting data in the computer.  A lot of check fraud I remember.  :-)

Something I spent a lot of time doing.  Explaining the Book of Mormon to a lady we found tracting.

Somewhere in Charlotte County.  This was a large area.  I believe it was a 30 mile radius.

After nine months in Port Charlotte -- an unheard of amount of time in one area -- I got transferred to Seminole.  I spent half my mission in Port Charlotte.  It was my favorite area.

After being transferred to the Seminole area, I received another new greeny to train straight out the MTC.  Sister Collett was from Centerville, Utah.  I don't know why President Brimhall always had me moving to new areas and opening them for sisters while sending me a greeny to train.  But it was fine.

Both angles inside the car.  Of course I was always driving because I was the senior companion.  :-)

Even though I was the driver I always had to pull over and read the map because my companions didn't know how.  :-)

ZDM

Horsing around in the park.

Doing a favorite activity, door finding.

This was outside our apartment building in Largo, Florida.  Our apartment was on the bottom floor a few doors down underneath the 8302 numbers.  That's me heading to our mission car.

I ended my mission in Seminole with Sister Erickson.  She was a little older than me.  She was from Las Vegas, Nevada.  

Posing with my favorite breakfast cereal.

A kid we taught and baptized.

Another zone meeting.

This is Kate on her baptism day.  Her son loved me.  :-)

Doing service at the school.

This is my buddy, James.  I primarily tutored him.

This is the teacher we worked with and two of the students.  Sister Erickson tutored the girl while I tutored James.

James and me.  He was a sweet boy.  It's hard to believe he is close to 40 now.

Dennis and Shannon's baptism.  This is a brother and sister that we taught.  Shannon is wearing my dress.

Florida had the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen.

It's fitting to end this post with this picture.  As the sun set on my mission.

I flew home on July 23, 1993.  It was a wild 18 months.  My mission was quite the adventure.  As the saying goes, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  A lot of hard work and difficult times, but definitely worth it.  Best decision I ever made.  As Ronnie Milsap would say, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

It's hard to believe it's been 30 years.  Happy anniversary to me!

That's my two cents.