You may be wondering why someone who has never married would be writing a blog post about the topic. I do not profess to be an expert, but I did come across a few quotes from a Prophet that I thought were profound and worth sharing.
I remember first reading these quotes in my FTM mission handbook. There were lots of good things in that handbook. I came across these quotes again recently so I thought I would blog about them.
I believe it was President Spencer W. Kimball who said that the most important decision we will ever make in our lives is to marry the right person at the right time in the right place. That is something I remember reading from my FTM handbook. Here are a couple of other quotes from President Kimball:
“In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness. It brings with it sacrifice, sharing, and a demand for great selflessness. …
… “Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price…” Teachings of the Presidents of the Church -- Spencer W. Kimball (2006) 189-201. I did a little research and found that this quote came from an address given by President Kimball September 7, 1976 at Brigham Young University. An article was written in the March 1977 Ensign which was taken from this address entitled "Oneness in Marriage".
I really like the part about soul mates being fictitious. This is something I have always believed. I am glad to hear a Prophet back me up. I do believe there are certain people you are more compatible with, that you have more in common with, but I do not believe, and have never believed, that there is only one person that you could marry and be happy with. I don't have a quote on this but, I think it was President Kimball that said, if both husband and wife are living Gospel standards and keeping covenants that there would be no reason they would not be compatible and live a happy life together.
You can take my words on this topic with a grain of salt. But seriously consider the Prophet's words. Doctrine and Covenants 1: 38 "What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled the, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."
That’s my two cents.
Key words "both are living the gospel standards and keeping their covenants." My marriage started off that way--but it's a continual thing throughout marriage--Not just something people should do to get married. You can do things the right way and still have marriage issues because people have agency. I really liked the tithing post you did--I think that advice is very inspired for marriage.
ReplyDeleteI really like this post Tam. I agree with everything SWK says about marriage. I think one big problem with LDS couples is that they rush into marriage because they simply can't keep their pants on long enough to get to know each other; and they are afraid they will give in to their lustful desires and then become unworthy and scared of what everyone will think of them. I've seen it happen to people. Then when they are married for awhile, they begin to realize that they don't really know the person they married like they should. Granted this will happen in any marriage to a point, and it does take hard work and nurturing the relationship for it to work, but a potential couple should still get to know each other on a deeper level before jumping into a marriage. I also agree with SWK about there not being one "soulmate" for a person, but really it could work with any person you are attracted to who shares your same interests and values with nurturing, hard work, and compromise. I remember having a conversation with an ex-girlfriend and she was having a really hard time wondering why I didn't want to spend eternity with her, she was so sure I was "the one". I told her that I didn't believe in fate or destiny, or there being one person out there that we have to find and that I just wasn't interested in her like she was me, and she just couldn't understand because she had the concept of finding "the one" crammed into her head all of her life. People need to learn to think for themselves. If you delete my posting, it's all good. It is too long winded.
ReplyDeleteWhy would I delete your comment Michael? I enjoyed your insight and you agreed with me!
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