Raising Young Children

This blog posting is a result of a request I received.  My first topic request! So, I hope I did it justice. There is some great advice from prophets and childhood development experts. So, those of you with young children, will hopefully benefit from this blog post.

From November 1981 Ensign, Ezra Taft Benson, “The Honored Place of Woman”:

 "It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters.

We become enamored with men’s theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother’s influence....

It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character.

Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness.

How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected!

I do not wish to wound any feelings, but all of us are aware of instances of active Latter-day Saint families who are experiencing difficulties with their children because mother is not where she ought to be—in the home."-Ezra Taft Benson, 1981

A few quotes from President Spencer W. Kimball:

 "Home life, proper teaching in the home, parental guidance and leadership—these are the panacea for the ailments of the world and its children. They are the cure for spiritual and emotional diseases and the remedy for its problems. Parents should not leave the training of children to others."-Spencer W. Kimball

 "There seems to be a growing tendency to shift this responsibility from the home to outside influences such as the school and the church, and of greater concern, to various child-care agencies and institutions. Important as these outward influences may be, they never can adequately take the place of the influence of the mother and the father. Constant training, constant vigilance, companionship, and being watchmen of our own children are necessary in order to keep our homes intact and to bless our children in the Lord’s own way."-Spencer W. Kimball

 "Fathers and mothers, your foremost responsibility is your family. By working together you can have the kind of home the Lord expects you to have. By showing love and consideration for one another and for your children, you can build a reservoir of spiritual strength that will never run dry."-Spencer W. Kimball

"Mothers, you are your children’s best teacher. Don’t shift this precious responsibility to day-care centers or baby-sitters. A mother’s love and prayerful concern for her children are her most important ingredients in teaching her own."-Ezra Taft Benson

From March 1982 Ensign-Children in Church:

 "Tiny Latter-day Saints are normal children. The things they do during church are typical of their growth and development. Research at Yale University has produced a host of characteristics which children exhibit at various ages. (See Arnold Gesell and Frances Ilg, Infant and Child in the Culture of Today, New York: Harper and Brothers.) At age one children like activity—moving around, pulling up, creeping on the floor, throwing things on the floor to have them retrieved. By fifteen months they like to explore, to turn pages, to observe action around them. By eighteen months climbing is their favorite activity. They like to tear pages out of books, including hymn books. This is the busybody, into-every-thing age. Their temper tantrums are a result of discovering their own will and its effect on others. By age two, children like to practice their newly acquired vocabulary, not always in soft tones. They are particularly fond of father and want to be with him (even if he is speaking in church). Almost all of their play is accompanied by constant talking. By age three children are becoming more responsive to parental requests and can entertain themselves up to an hour if provided with appropriate materials. By age four they are even more self-entertaining but still ask up to four hundred questions daily. They may stay occupied but still not be interested in the proceedings of an entire sacrament meeting.

These developmental facts combine to produce a picture of very powerful, active, inquisitive little Saints. But the normality of our children should be a comfort, not a concern. During the preschool years, children learn more than they will ever again learn in mortality: vital life skills of locomotion, communication, relationships. They form feelings, attitudes, and opinions that will remain with them the rest of life—about God, about church, about family and friends. We must, therefore, not overlook their developmental needs nor contribute to negative attitudes during church. We must capitalize on children’s stages of development and be creatively persistent in helping them cope with the challenges of church activity. "-Joyce Williams, former professor of child development and mother of five

“Children in Church,” Ensign, Mar 1982, 43–48

“Latter-day Saints should be the most reverent people in all the earth,” President Spencer W. Kimball has said. “Where, then, does reverence begin, and how can we develop it? The home is the key to reverence, as it is to every other godlike virtue.

“… Behavior learned at home determines behavior in Church meetings. A child who has learned to pray at home soon understands that he must be quiet and still during prayers in worship service.

“Likewise, when family home evenings are part of home life, children know that there are special times, not only at church but at home, when we learn about our Heavenly Father and when everyone needs to be on his best behavior. …

“Parents with small children sometimes have a difficult time helping their youngsters appreciate meetings and keeping them from creating disturbances. Perseverance, firmness, and preparation in the home are essential ingredients for success.” (We Should Be a Reverent People, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1976, pp. 2–3.)

I am not a parent but I understand the importance of following the Prophet’s counsel in raising children. Hopefully these quotes from former prophets and childhood development experts will help those of you raising young children. I would just like to reiterate one statement from a childhood development expert, “During the preschool years, children learn more than they will ever again learn in mortality”

That’s my two cents.