Baffling Question Answered

I did a post back on December 5, 2009.  I titled it baffling questions.  Well, for some reason I was contemplating about this topic again recently. And almost 5 years later, I think I have an answer to my own question.

Here is my original post:

 "Why is it that mistresses are always so much uglier than the wife? Why is it that seemingly intelligent men throw their life in the trash for a few sinful moments with ugly women?

 "Perhaps I don't understand because I'm not a man. Perhaps I don't understand because I'm not stupid. Either way it still baffles me.

 That's my two cents."

Here's what I've decided.  People like to be comfortable.  People are comfortable with those who are similar to them.  For instance, I'm comfortable hanging around people who are Members of the Church.  Regardless of whether I know them or not.  We share a kinship because we share common beliefs and core values.  On the other hand, I'm not as comfortable around people with different standards than I have.  I'm certainly not comfortable around vulgarities/profanity, etc. Or in dark places like bars, clubs, and casinos.  On the flipside, I'm sure the profane, vulgar, crude people who are comfortable in dark places are not comfortable in churches or houses of worship, etc.

Here's an example that just popped into my head: when I was on my mission there was an inactive member who fed us weekly.  For whatever reason one day she stopped by our apartment and was extremely uncomfortable because our place was decorated with pictures of Christ and Prophets etc. I found that interesting (and somewhat surprising that she was so uncomfortable) because she knew she wasn't living the gospel standards -- I know she didn't live the Word of Wisdom -- therefore she was feeling guilty in the presence of pictures of her Savior and it made her uncomfortable.

People who lower their standards or whose beliefs and values have changed are no longer comfortable in the same environment and with the same people whose standards have remained unchanged.  I believe this is why men or women who commit infidelities and are unfaithful to their spouse tend to select floozies (male or female) who are much uglier than their spouse.  Because they have become ugly and dark and are more comfortable with those who are similar to themselves.

It makes perfect sense.  It's extremely sad but very logical.  I like to call it the "oke for an oke" philosophy.  :-) Only people who know me will understand that :-).  I could also call it the light for light and dark for dark philosophy.

Unfortunately, it is all too common in this world we live in where Satan so easily deceives. One spouse in a marriage succumbs to Satan's temptations/deceptions and loses their values/beliefs/standards that they once shared with their spouse.

Then they feel uncomfortable with and unworthy of their spouse whose values have not changed.  So they seek for someone who is on the same level as themselves which is always a much lower standard. And with whom they feel more comfortable because they are in the same dark place. People looking in from the outside are appalled and dumbfounded that the spouse whose standards have dramatically decreased would destroy their beautiful family for dark and ugly and much less desirable than what they already have.

That's the tragic reality.  I know 4 families personally who were destroyed by spouses who chose to leave their beautiful eternal families for dark ugly floozies.  Interestingly, it was two women and two men.  And in each case, the floozy they destroyed their families for is much uglier than the spouse they had. I mean shockingly uglier!  Darkness and sin also contribute much to a person's ugliness.

So, if you've ever wondered why unfaithful spouses choose ugliness -- it's because they themselves have become ugly. Oke for an oke.  Dark for dark.

That's my two cents.