Misplaced Loyalty

Quite often I feel like an alien living here in mortality.  It reminds me of the line from the hymn, "something whispers you're a stranger here" (LDS hymn number 292).  I seriously feel like I'm living in the twilight zone sometimes.  Why?  Because of other people.  Other people's bad choices and bad behavior. And their messed up thinking and ideas.  I'm constantly quoting John McEnroe, "you cannot be serious... chalk flew".  But there is not enough chalk to fly.

What makes it even worse is that these people are my family members.  People who should know better.  I'm constantly being disappointed by my own.  It's quite embarrassing.  But the disappointment is really what hurts. Why?  Because I want my family members to have eternal life.  I want our family to all be together in the eternities.  At this rate, it's extremely unlikely.  Barring some serious lifestyle change and repentance.  There is always hope but at this point no one has a desire to make the necessary changes.

I just keep hearing more twilight zone-esque stories and keep quoting John McEnroe.

It all really comes down to one thing.  Misplaced loyalty.  Apparently most people don't realize this one simple concept.  And that is that our number one loyalty and priority in everything we do should be God. Yes, even above and before family. This is where most people's loyalties are misplaced.

Just to clarify this, I found several quotes and scriptures which will help educate you.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."  -- Matthew 6:33

"I urge you to give your deepest loyalties to the highest causes in eternity—those contained in the life and mission and message of the Only Begotten Son of God. If we can remain true there, with an eye single to that standard, all other loyalties will fall naturally into place." -- Jeffrey R. Holland, 21 January 1986

“What is our ultimate priority?” Are we serving priorities or gods ahead of the God we profess to worship? Have we forgotten to follow the Savior who taught that if we love Him, we will keep His commandments? (see John 14:15). If so, our priorities have been turned upside down by the spiritual apathy and undisciplined appetites so common in our day." -- Dallin H. Oaks, "No Other Gods", October 2013

"We must put God in the forefront of everything else in our lives. He must come first, just as He declares in the first of His Ten Commandments: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3).

"When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.

"We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives."-- Teachings of Presidents of the Church; Ezra Taft Benson, Chapter 1

“Those who wholeheartedly turn their lives over to the Savior and serve God and fellowman discover a richness and fulness to life that the selfish and egotistic will never experience.”-- President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2014

For me though the biggest disappointment is not the family members who have gone off the deep end.  It's those who defend them.  I will never understand defending wrong -- it's just not in my nature.  Sharing DNA with someone does not trump morality nor following God's commandments.

I hear stories of parents defending their rapist sons or harboring fugitives of the law and it truly baffles me.  Apparently these people don't understand enabling.  Enabling never helps anyone.  And unfortunately several members of my family are big-time enablers.

Here is the definition for those of you who don't understand it:

Enabler: one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.

I would love to give some examples here but I don't want to embarrass those guilty family members.  The sad thing about enablers is they actually think they are helping those they are enabling.  When in actuality they are harming them.

Whether your family member is an addict of any kind, a law breaker, immoral, or a commandment breaker which includes all of the above, or does anything which is self-destructive -- making excuses for their bad choices and bad behavior, sympathizing with them, and doing anything to help them avoid the consequences of their choices is doing them a disservice.  And, the fallout almost always  affects many other people--negatively.

I'm really just sick and tired of family members who should know better defending wrong and even praising it all because they share DNA with the perpetrators.  It makes me sick.  Your loyalties are completely misplaced.  I guarantee you if the perpetrator was not your baby son or nephew or brother or cousin, your tune would certainly change.

One thing I can say about myself is my tune doesn't change.  I don't care who is in the wrong.  I don't care how much DNA I share with anyone.  I will always defend truth and righteousness no matter what.  You can call me holier than thou, judgmental, hypocrite, or whatever other name you can come up with.  But I will always put God first and defend truth.  I will never enable destructive behavior.

I wish others in my family would stop enabling.  I wish others were not moral cowards who care more about what their family members think about them than what God thinks about them.  I wish more people were courageous and not panseric cowards defending wrong.

“Let us have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval. Courage becomes a living and an attractive virtue when it is regarded not only as a willingness to die manfully, but as the determination to live decently. A moral coward is one who is afraid to do what he thinks is right because others will disapprove or laugh. Remember that all men have their fears, but those who face their fears with dignity have courage as well.”-- Thomas S. Monson, October 1986

I am not a moral coward. I'm not a pansy.  With courage and dignity I stand for principle and never compromise.  My loyalties are not misplaced.  I will always stand for truth and righteousness.

Think of me what you will, laugh at me, mock me, persecute me, but I will unashamedly stand before my God on judgment day with honor, power, glory, loyalty, courage, and dignity.

That's my two cents.