Letter to Alberta

I have decided to post a slightly edited version of my letter to Alberta explaining the evidence that proves she is my mystery second cousin's birth mother. To protect the innocent, I have replaced identifying information with asterisks.  I don't take too kindly to people rudely denying their paternity/maternity to the children they placed for adoption.

Here's my slightly edited letter:

October 23, 2018

Dear Alberta,

You probably don’t know me.  I am your first cousin Mike *****'s daughter Tammy -- your Uncle Newell’s granddaughter. That makes me your first cousin once removed.

I’m not sure you remember this or not but I actually sent you a letter back in February 2015, requesting help with family history information and pictures.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing now is because I discovered your biological daughter, Tara, through DNA.  I understand that you denied being her biological mother when she called you on the telephone.

I know what a shock that must’ve been to you to hear from her after nearly 50 years. I assure you she has nothing but good intentions in wanting to contact you.  She wants to thank you for giving her life and for the sacrifice of giving her up for adoption.  She has had a wonderful life and is very appreciative to you.

I would now like to explain to you how I discovered that Tara is your biological daughter.  I understand the science of DNA.  I have a Bachelor of Science degree in biology.  I also trained in medicine and hold a Doctor of Podiatric Medicine degree.  Therefore I’m somewhat the DNA expert in the family.

So first I will explain the DNA evidence.  Then I will explain the circumstantial evidence and tie the two together.

I’m going to list our relatives in common that share DNA with Tara and the percentage of DNA each shares with her.  Then I will explain what that means.

Your first cousins (Tara’s first cousins once removed):

Your Uncle Newell’s children:

Mike ***** 3.78%
Ron *****   4.72%
Tim *****   4.53%
Linda *****5.96%

Your Uncle Nelson’s child:

Bart (Nicky) ***** 6.94%

For first cousins once removed you would expect around 6.25% shared DNA. But because of variations in genetic recombination, you would expect a range of 3.3% to 8.51%.  All five of your first cousins listed fall within that range.  This indicates that one of Tara’s biological parents is first cousins with all five people listed.

This also rules out any of your Uncle Newell’s or your Uncle Nelson’s children being Tara’s parent.   It also narrows down the genetic line to one of Tara’s parents being a grandchild of Bert ***** *****and Millie * ***** *****.  That leaves four possibilities since Newell and Nelson were eliminated as possible grandparents.

So we are down to Ted, Elwood, Marjorie, or Varien as possible biological grandparents of Tara.

You have a second cousin, Patricia *****, who shares 0.69% of her DNA with Tara. You would expect 1.5% shared DNA between second cousins once removed (Patricia and Tara) but the range is 0.57% to 2.54%.  So she also falls within the expected range.  The interesting thing about Patricia ***** is she is along the maternal line and therefore her maternal haplogroup is valuable information.  In case you’re not familiar with Patricia *****, she is the daughter of Hazel ***** who is the daughter of Marguerite ***** - your grandmother Millie * ***** sister.  This means that her maternal haplogroup would be the same as yours and your daughters.

Maternal haplogroups are passed down in the mitochondrial DNA from mother to children.  So, all of the children of a specific mother will share the same maternal haplogroup.  So if you follow the maternal line from daughter to mother going back they will all share the same maternal haplogroup.

Patricia *****'s maternal haplogroup is H1.  Since Millie and Marguerite share the same mother, Tryphosa ***** *****, they also share a maternal haplogroup, H1.  Millie would have passed that maternal haplogroup down to all of her children.  But her son’s children would have a different maternal haplogroup because they have a different mother on a different genetic line.  But her daughters would pass that same maternal haplogroup down to their daughters.

Since Tara’s maternal haplogroup is also H1 it is most likely that the genetic line is maternal.

Therefore the most likely candidates for being Tara’s mother are the daughters of your mother, Varien or your aunt Marjorie.

(Since H1 is a common haplogroup among Europeans, we can’t definitively exclude the possibility of a male first cousin being Tara’s father (by impregnating a woman who by happenstance is H1) but it is not likely and circumstantial evidence rules that out.  From the information Tara was given, her biological father is Italian.  None of my dad’s paternal line male first cousins has any significant Italian ancestry composition.)

So we are down to Varien’s or Marjorie’s daughter being Tara’s biological mother.

There are two DNA possibilities, you (Alberta) or Alice ***** *****.  This is where the circumstantial evidence comes in.

Tara was born ***** *, *****.  Or perhaps was adopted on that date, I’m not certain.  But it was around that time.

Tara was adopted in Reno, Nevada.  The information Tara received about her birthmother includes the following:

She is 5’5” tall, around 120 pounds, brown eyes, brown hair.  She is of Northern European ancestry. She already had three children with her husband and separated from her husband.  Subsequently, she became pregnant with Tara.  She and her husband decided they could not financially nor emotionally support another child, therefore Tara was placed for adoption after she was born.

Tara’s biological mother said she was Lutheran and wanted her child raised in a Protestant home.

It was also stated that Tara’s birth mother’s mother was a laundry worker.

I believe it also stated that Tara’s birth mother’s three children were two boys and a girl around the same age as your children would have been at the time.

(I don’t have the letter in front of me so I’m going off memory from what Tara told me.)

So from what I know of your life, Alberta, all of the circumstantial evidence points directly to you being Tara’s biological mother.

You match the physical description. You match the ancestral description.  Your children match the description.  My dad tells me your mother was a laundry worker.  You lived near Reno, Nevada at the time in the Truckee area.  I know your mother, Varien, was raised as a Seventh-day Adventist and I don’t know if you were raised in any religion.  But I know that your husband Alwin ***** ***** was christened (baptized) into the Lutheran Church on * ***** ***** in Selby, South Dakota at St. John Church. Some family members remember you being separated from your husband for a while and disappearing for a time.

Also, of note is the fact that you refused to do a DNA test a few years ago.  Making people wonder what you had to hide.  Now we know.

Interestingly, my dad had a female first cousin - who remained anonymous - on 23 and me who also has the maternal haplogroup, H1.  I always suspected that was you.  That perhaps you did the DNA test anonymously, for whatever reason.  It makes sense now that perhaps you were looking to see if your daughter was on there.  Unfortunately they don’t allow anonymous users anymore on 23 and me so that profile was removed a few months ago from DNA relative finder.  But it was certainly one of my dad’s female first cousins on his father’s side. Nelda is ruled out as being the contributor because her brother, Bart (Nicky), has a different maternal haplogroup which she would share with him since they share the same mother.  So once again, that leaves you or your cousin Alice *****.  You, being aware of, and actually being asked to provide a DNA sample to 23 and me, makes you the most likely contributor.

Alice ***** ***** was born on * ***** *****.  She would’ve been nearly 40 at the time of Tara’s birth.  Which is certainly possible, but I believe the adoption information mentions the birth mother’s age as around 34 years old.  You, Alberta ***** *****, were born * ***** *****.  This would have made you 34 years old when Tara was born.  As far as I know, your cousin Alice, was never separated from her husband.  And she lived in the Sacramento area, not near Reno, Nevada.  Her mother, Marjorie, was not a laundry worker.  And according to my dad, she does not match the physical description of Tara’s birth mother.  Therefore circumstantial evidence can rule her out.  That leaves just you, Alberta, as Tara’s birth mother.

I failed to mention that your second cousin, Patricia *****, who would share the same maternal haplogroup as you, also has a daughter whose DNA is on 23 and me.  Patricia’s daughter, Doreen, is also documented as H1. Thereby further corroborating the H1 maternal haplogroup along your maternal ancestral line.

For completeness sake I would like to include the other DNA relatives in common - even though this information isn’t necessary in determining your maternity to Tara, it does help corroborate the DNA evidence.

Your first cousins once removed (Tara’s second cousins):

Tammy (me)   1.33%
Lisa 2.41%
Juliet 0.59%
Michael 0.26%
Clint 2.50%
Crystal 3.68%
Stephanie 2.40%
Howie (Bart’s son) 1.18%

For second cousins you would expect around 3% shared DNA with a range of around 2 to 5%.  Some of those numbers are low but that’s the luck of the draw with genetic recombination. But all tested second cousins still share some DNA with Tara.

I won’t include them but the children of my siblings also all share DNA with Tara.  In percentages expected for second cousins once removed.

I will include your second cousins (Tara’s second cousins once removed):

Patricia ***** 0.69%
Frank *****    1.55%

You would expect 1.5% shared DNA between second cousins once removed.  With a range of 0.57% to 2.54%.  By the way Frank is your grandfather Bert ***** *****'s brother Charles’ grandson.  Frank’s daughter, Dara, also shares DNA with Tara, 0.34%, consistent with being third cousins (0.3%-2.0%).

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that if they don’t submit their DNA sample, that their DNA secrets are safe.  But that’s not true.  It is easy to determine DNA relationships by analyzing the DNA of relatives in common.

Because of the plethora of DNA information available from multiple DNA relatives, it only took me a matter of minutes to determine who Tara’s biological mother is-- you.  After asking my dad a few questions about the circumstantial evidence, my suspicions were solidified.

Alberta, there is no doubt that you are Tara’s biological mother.  DNA does not lie.  And the circumstantial evidence is overwhelming.  Combining the DNA evidence with the circumstantial evidence proves that you are Tara’s birth mother.

The cat’s out of the bag.  After nearly 5 decades, the skeleton’s out of the closet. There’s no longer a secret to hide.  I imagine that was quite a burden to carry all these years.  It must be freeing to have that lifted off your shoulders.

It would be nice if you would talk to Tara and give her some information about her birth father.  The information she has is that he is Italian and worked as a heavy equipment operator.  Before she told me the information I knew he was part Italian because her DNA ancestry composition shows that she is up to 25% Italian (Italian and Southern European).  We have very little, if any, Southern European in our ancestry.  Therefore that had to come from her birth father.  He was most likely 50% Italian or at least Southern European.  There again the DNA evidence corroborates with the circumstantial evidence.

Tara is now ***** years old and would like to know about her biological parents.  She’s been searching for 30 years.  Any information you could give her would be much appreciated.

Tara is a beautiful, wonderful, caring, kind, loving, sweet lady.  She does not want to disrupt your life.  But she would like to talk to you and perhaps get some more information.  Like I said, she has had a wonderful life and is very grateful to you for giving her life and placing her in a home with loving parents.

I know this is a lot to digest.  If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. My address is: *****
My telephone number is: ****.  My e-mail address is: ****.

My dad tells me you are a sweet lady also. I, also, am thankful to you for doing the right thing in giving Tara life, and placing her in a loving home.

If you don’t want anything to do with Tara, that’s your prerogative.  But I hope you will at least contact her to give her some information about her birth father.

Lovingly your cousin,

Tammy *****, DPM