Tammy’s Funeral Talk for Dad
July 26, 2019
I’d like to share with you a side of my dad that probably most of you are not very familiar with. My dad has many wonderful qualities. Today I would like to talk about his best quality - his faith in Jesus Christ and his testimony of the Gospel.
My dad’s faith journey is an interesting one. He was born into a family that didn’t teach him the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Nor was he raised with any religious upbringing at all. It wasn’t until he got a track scholarship to BYU and met and married my mother that he was introduced to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
My dad was baptized and became a member of the Church while he was serving our country in Vietnam. The missionaries baptized him in a swimming pool. But my dad remained inactive in the Church during my childhood years. When I was in high school we had a good home teacher who said something to my dad that sparked his fire of faith. He asked my dad, “What if it is all true?” If the church is true and you get on the covenant path and do your best to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ then you have nothing to lose.
So my dad took that to heart and decided to get all in. He fulfilled the necessary requirements to receive a temple recommend. A few days after my 20th birthday my mom and dad were sealed to each other in the Provo Temple for time and all eternity. My siblings and I were subsequently sealed to our parents. This was the beginning of my dad’s faithful journey on the covenant path.
A year later I was eligible to serve a full-time mission, which I elected to do. While I was in the MTC my dad started writing me a letter every day. This continued throughout my entire 18 month mission. Dad wanted me to succeed as a missionary and this was his way of supporting me on my mission. My dad’s letters were something I looked forward to every day. They were a comfort to me as I felt a connection to home and especially to my dad. My dad also wrote to Lisa and Michael everyday while they were serving their full-time missions. That’s five years of daily letterwriting! That’s dedication. That’s my dad.
Fast-forward through the years I pursued education and didn’t live at home. Due to unfortunate circumstances I have had the privilege of living with my parents for the past nearly 17 years. So I know my dad quite well. Despite his not being a scriptorian nor Gospel scholar, my dad has a pure, humble, simple testimony that radiates in his daily actions and choices.
One example of my dad’s goodness is his love for all of God’s creatures. Every day before breakfast my dad would sprinkle bird seed on the patio and we would watch the birds flock in to eat. Occasionally, a bird would fly into the window and fall to the ground stunned. Whenever this happened my dad would rush out to help the bird. He learned that if you set the bird upright it would usually regain consciousness and fly away. If you just left them, they usually died. So my dad saved many birds lives by rushing out to help them. A few months ago my dad found a wounded coyote on our property. As it was lying there dying, my dad ran to the house so we could try to get it help. That’s compassion. That’s my dad.
Everybody loved my dad, from babies to centenarians. My dad made it a point to remember people’s names and call them by name. He is kind and treated everyone like a friend regardless of age or circumstances. Strangers were just friends he hadn’t met yet.
When I was growing up I remember all the neighborhood kids flocked to our house because they liked my dad so much. One time a neighbor’s little grandson came and knocked on our door. When my dad answered he asked, “Mister Stone, will you play wish me?” Despite working long hours at the steel mill, my dad would come home and play with us kids (often times the neighborhood kids too). That’s genuine love for his fellow man. That’s my dad.
Dad felt a special connection with President Henry B. Eyring. On Sundays I watch General Conference addresses or devotionals. Whenever Dad would see President Eyring on my TV he would say “There’s my friend” or “He’s such a nice fellow” or “He likes me”. One time in particular I remember him stating his observation that President Eyring always has the Spirit with him. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that when President Nelson spoke to us at Safeco Field that he brought President Eyring with him so that Dad could hear his friend speak to him in person.
A couple of years ago I gave my dad a copy of President Eyring’s biography for his birthday. When he unwrapped it he started weeping. Dad wore his emotions on his sleeve, much like President Eyring..Dad could never get through “God be with you till we meet again” and certain other hymns without becoming emotional. That is being in tune with the Spirit and close to Heaven. That’s my dad.
Nearly 17 years ago I was not expected to live. I know that a big part of why I am still here is because of the faith and prayers of my father. Dad always said beautiful, sincere, humble prayers. I always loved hearing him pray. Prayer was very important to my dad. He always made sure a blessing was said on the food before meals. About a week or two ago a meal was brought to him. After realizing the blessing had not been said, he apologized and said he thought it was said in the other room. A few days after that, he was being helped into bed and asked if someone could say his prayers for him because he was too weak. Communication with his Heavenly Father is something that Dad highly valued through the end of his mortal journey. That’s enduring to the end. That’s my dad.
My dad was one of my primary caregivers for the past 17 years. He and my mom dedicated their lives to caring for and serving me. My dad not only served me but was always willing to help anyone in need. That’s the pure love of Christ. That’s my dad.
The scriptures teach that “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”¹ My dad may not have served in high profile leadership callings in the Church. But he certainly did serve God. He was no less serviceable² than any other disciple of Christ.
We, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have a different perspective on death than others. President Nelson taught that for those who are prepared to meet God, death is never premature.³ Dad was prepared to meet God.
The Scriptures state, “For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.” 4
“And we see that death comes upon mankind,… which is the temporal death; nevertheless there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead."5
Now is the time to prepare to meet God. Our time here in mortality is a test. Will we use our agency to follow God and prepare to meet him again? President Monson has stated that our decisions determine our destiny. How we choose to live our lives here will determine where we end up in the eternities. It is imperative that we choose the right. My dad understood that.
Death is like finishing a big grueling final exam. It is a graduation from this mortal probation. In my dad’s case, in the race of life, he has crossed the finish line.
The prophet Alma explained what happens at the time of death:
"Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life."
“And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.” 6
For the righteous covenant keepers, death is a respite from all the troubles of mortality, it is paradise. But it doesn’t mean that there won’t be any work. The spirit world is a busy place. Work is an eternal principle. My dad learned the value of hard work from a young age growing up on a dairy farm. My dad has always been a hard worker. He built the fence around our property mostly by himself one stubborn post at a time, in his 60s. Just a few weeks ago, while he could barely stand, he got the big gas powered weed whacker out and was cleaning up the yard. Dad is certainly no stranger to hard work.
As I mentioned before, my dad’s parents were not religious. In fact, they made it clear that they despised organized religion. One day, many years ago, my dad was talking to his parents and one of them asked disapprovingly, “You’re not a Mormon are you?” Knowing the likely consequences his answer might bring, my dad didn’t cower but answered confidently, “Yes, I am”. My dad willingly stood up for truth and was not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. That’s courage and integrity. That’s my dad.
When Dad was in Vietnam he received a blessing, perhaps his confirmation after he was baptized. He later related that Heavenly Father kept his promises to him so he was going to keep his promises to Heavenly Father. That’s honor. That’s my dad.
Dad was always so proud of his anniversary every year. He wanted so badly to make his 50th anniversary this October. He always said how lucky he was to have found and married my mother. I think a big reason for that gratitude was because of her helping him on his journey of faith. He realized what a wonderful blessing the Gospel brought him. But Dad doesn’t need to fret about graduating before his 50th wedding anniversary. Mom and Dad were sealed in the temple of the Lord for time and all eternity. That bond did not end at death. On October 29 my parents can celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary from both sides of the veil.
Despite his social anxiety, my dad understood the importance of weekly church attendance to partake of the sacrament and worship the Lord. Dad always wanted to look his best and show respect to the Lord while worshiping in His house. Dad always wore a well-coordinated suit and tie to church. Even though it became difficult for Dad to attend church due to health problems, he made the effort and was even at church days before he was hospitalized.
If Dad with liver failure using a cane, and mom with cancer using a walker, and me with quadriplegia using a wheelchair can make it to church at 10 minutes to 9 every Sunday, then anybody can make it to church -on time. Life is about prioritizing what’s important. My dad understood that loving God and his fellow man and living the Gospel of Jesus Christ are what’s important.
My dad treasured family more than anything. In our last family home evening in June, Lisa taught the lesson on heritage and what legacy we want to leave. Dad said he wants to be remembered as a good husband and father. Dad understood the sacred calling of fatherhood. The Family Proclamation states, "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives-mothers and fathers-will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations." “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." Dad took the responsibility of fatherhood very seriously and always strived to be the best father he could be.
Dad’s journey of faith on the covenant path began in a swimming pool in Vietnam when he was baptized into the Lord’s true church. Dad’s journey of faith continued on the covenant path as he strived to live the gospel of Jesus Christ and to keep the commandments, as evidenced in the examples I shared. Dad’s mortal journey of faith on the covenant path ended at his physical death. Yet his journey of faith continues in the Spirit World. Where I’m certain he will be doing plenty of missionary work, teaching the Gospel to those who want to hear it on the other side.
There are only a few things you can take with you when you graduate from mortality. Your character and qualities developed while in mortality, your intelligence and knowledge gained, and your family relations if they were sealed in the holy Temple and if you live worthy of such. Nothing else matters. Everything else in this life is just fluff.
Dad’s heart broke every time he heard of any of his posterity leaving the covenant path and making bad choices. He yearned to know how to help them realize the error of their ways and come back home to the truth and get back on the covenant path. Dad knows that is where true happiness is found. Dad’s priority in life has always been his family. Dad wants his family for eternity.
If you want to honor my dad and his legacy, the best thing you can do is to get on the covenant path by being baptized into the Lord’s true church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Then stay on the straight and narrow path. If you have ventured off the covenant path, do what’s necessary to get back on it through repentance. If you are already on the covenant path, strive hard every day to stay there and endure it well to the end. Nothing would make my dad happier than knowing his family and other loved ones are with him for eternity.
Dad was an endurance athlete and always gave it his all. But he just finished his greatest test of endurance. Dad finished strong on the covenant path and endured it well to the end. Jesus said, “Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.”7 There is no greater gift than eternal life.
I am certain that when Dad crossed through the veil that the Lord greeted him with open arms proclaiming “Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.”8
I am grateful for my dad and his legacy of faith. It’s comforting to know that we are an eternal family and this difficult separation is just temporary.
Wookatah wookatah Dad! God be with you till we meet again.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
References:
1 -- Mosiah 2:17
2 -- Alma 48:19 Now behold, Helaman and his brethren were no less serviceable unto the people than was Moroni; for they did preach the word of God, and they did baptize unto repentance all men whosoever would hearken unto their words.
3 -- Face the Future with Faith, Russell M. Nelson, April 2011
4 -- Alma 34: 32
5 -- Alma12:34
6 -- Alma 40:11-12
7 -- 3 Nephi 15:9
8 -- Matthew 25:21
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