That is a quote from one of my favorite Elvis songs. I'm sick and tired of people making bad choices and causing all kinds of havoc within our family and then calling up to whine and complain about the consequences. Then when his parents patiently give him advice, he calls the advice stupid. Well, Mister smarty-pants, if your parents advice is so stupid, then why do you call them to ask them for advice?
You all know who I'm addressing. And since I know he can't stay off my blog, even though he hates my opinions, I'll direct this specifically to him.
Why do you call your parents and unload your problems on them? Problems you yourself caused by your continual bad choices! Your parents don't need the extra burden. They have enough problems of their own. Your parents didn't call up their mommy and daddy every time they had problems with you. So why do you continually burdened them with your parental inadequacies? Especially when the problems you are facing are direct consequences to your bad choices. Which many of the problems could have been avoided had you made better choices in life.
Obviously when you make a series of bad choices again and again and again, there will be some bad consequences. When you choose to leave your family for a selfish floozeric lifestyle, your children will be scarred. They aren't stupid. They know you are choosing a floozy over them. And when it happens again and again and again, there will be deep deep scars. So why are you surprised when your son turns to drugs and contemplates suicide? You caused it. Your bad choices -- your abandonment of your wife and kids -- are the cause of the lack of self-worth in your children.
What can you do to fix it? I'm glad you asked. Start with turning your life around. Come back to the truth you once knew. Give your kids back the hope that you stripped from them. Teach them there is a God who loves them. It's not too late to start doing the right thing. Everybody should know that they are a child of God. When you strip God from people's lives, you also strip hope from their lives. Without hope, what is there to live for? Even people who have no one in their life who they feel loves them, they can still turn to God, who loves all of his children unconditionally. You can always turn to your Heavenly Father. Even in the deepest abyss, He is always there for you. That is a great comforter for many people. Yet, you have even taken that from your children. Teaching them that there is no God. That's beyond appalling.
Think about it, you, as their father, have walked out on them. They know you have chosen a floozy over them and their mother. The fact that you have chosen floozy over your children is continually reinforced by forcing them to spend every other weekend at floozy's house. Where you have chosen to flaunt your adultery by living in sin -- as you like to put it -- at your floozy's house. Not to mention all the other vices they are exposed to in that environment.
Then you continually lie to them, convincing them that there is no God and turning them away from their religion. Thus taking away all hope from them. Not to mention teaching them false doctrines of the world.
When they are with you on the weekends, you are rarely physically present. Choosing to live your "rock 'n roll" lifestyle of playing gigs on the weekend. So you can receive the praise of men to try to inflate your nonexistent self-esteem. People who live contrary to God's commandments lose their self worth. That's why apostates are narcissistic. It's a defense mechanism. But that's another blog post.
A child's basic need is love and security. Even more important than food, clothing, and shelter. When a child is constantly reminded that they are not their parent's top priority, it leaves deep emotional scars. And when the one person they can always turn to in times of trial, God, is taken from them, where can they turn?
Of course the primary source of love and security for a child is their parents. Including their heavenly parents. I had been taught since I was very young that I am a child of God. Because of that I have always had extraordinary self worth and have always had someone to turn to in times of trial. You have taken your children's earthly father and their Heavenly Father away from them. Then you wonder why they have nothing to live for and why they would want to take their own life?
You can try to make yourself feel better by rationalizing that they still have their earthly father in their lives. But it's simply not true. When you chose to leave your family, you abandoned your children and visiting with them every other weekend is not fulfilling your responsibilities as a father. I hope you're fleeting happiness with your floozy was worth it to you. Floozationships rarely last. But the destruction they cause does.
Obviously it's a lot easier to not believe in God when you're willfully rebelling against Him. That's certainly your prerogative, God gave you your agency. But, teaching your children there is no God and turning them against their religion is extremely detrimental to their well-being. Why would anyone do that to their own children, whom they are supposed to love? Why would you want to destroy your own children? When you do that, problems are inevitable. Then you start facing some of those problems as a consequence of your own actions, and decide to burden others with it.
You have the audacity to call up mommy and daddy to complain about your troubled children and ask for their advice. They both tell you the first step is to get God back in your life. Your response is to tell them they're stupid and that you disagree.
If you don't like their "stupid" advice, then why do you continually call them every time you have a problem? Honestly, they don't want to hear all of your problems. None of us do! "You're crying on my shoulder like a baby, I'm sorry about your troubles... but I've used up all of my sympathy. It's your baby, you rock it." You made this mess, clean it up yourself. Pick yourself up off the floor and get your life back in order. Why burden your parents -- who are already overburdened -- with the messes you keep creating? If you think you're doing them a favor by "keeping them informed" you're sorely mistaken. "You made that bed you're sleeping in, and I'm tired of hearing about it friend."
For someone who claims to want his family to stay out of his business, you sure do keep dragging your family unwillingly into your business.
I'll close with the advice I started out with:
"It's your baby, you rock it. It's your heartache, you bought it. You made that bed you're sleeping in, and I'm tired of hearing about it friend. It's your baby, you rock it!"
That's my two cents.
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