Birth Order

As I mentioned in a previous post, I just started watching "Dog Whisperer" again on DVD as part of my nightly routine.  Dad and I used to watch it years ago when we had National Geographic Channel.  I've also been watching clips of "Cesar 911" on YouTube.  So, I looked up Cesar Millan on Instagram and started following him.  A couple of days ago Cesar did a post on Instagram about being a born leader or born follower. 

That got me to thinking about birth order and the related personality characteristics.  As part of earning my minor in psychology, I actually wrote a paper on birth order.  That was around 30 years ago but I still remember a few things I learned.  So, I wrote a comment on Cesar's post and asked him if he happens to be a firstborn or only child.  Because he exhibits many of the characteristics of a firstborn.  Leadership, high achiever, goal oriented, etc.  I was just curious. 

I wasn't really expecting a reply.  But, to my surprise, Cesar answered me.  It made my day.  He said that he was the firstborn male but second born child.  So, I was thinking about it and that does fit the birth order theory.  I think especially with Cesar growing up in Mexico which seems to be a more traditional patriarchal societal system.  Being the firstborn male would foster the same character development traits of being a firstborn child.  I think the same holds true for most people who are second born but opposite sex of the older sibling.  This is especially true the more space there is between children.

So, just for fun I want to share the characteristics of firstborn, middle, and last born children.  Only children are similar to firstborns with a few modifications.

In case you can't see the graphic, I will list the qualities of each for you.

First borns tend to have the following qualities: 

Leader

High achiever

Perfectionist

Bossy

Responsible

Motivated

Conscientious

Controlling

Cautious

Caring and Nurturing (often helping parents with younger siblings)

Reliable

Slightly higher IQ

Role model

Determined

Rule follower

Go-getter

Hard worker

Structured

Timely (punctual)

Being a firstborn child myself, I can attest that I do possess most of those personality traits often attributed to firstborns. Some of the above traits may be questionable or more subtle in me. I am certainly a leader, responsible, determined, a high achiever, a rule follower, reliable, and punctual.  The only trait listed above that stands out to me that I obviously don't have is being a perfectionist.  Although, my mom -- who is also a firstborn -- does have the perfectionist trait.  I'm sure my siblings can attest to my bossy nature -- although I prefer to refer to it as assertive.  I'm sure Cesar would agree.  :-)

I don't know Cesar personally, but from what I see of him on TV, he certainly also possesses most -- if not all -- of the qualities of a firstborn.  On a side note, I think Cesar and I are quite similar in our personality traits.  Perhaps it also has to do with being contemporaries.  Cesar is just a year older than me.  So perhaps we share some similar experiences growing up in the same generation, even though we were raised in different cultures.

Besides both being high achieving, determined leaders, another quality Cesar and I both possess is bluntness.  We don't beat around the bush, we tell it like it is.  I love it when Cesar tells people their flaws and how to improve.  He always does it in a loving but blunt way.  I laughed so hard when he told a lady she had no common sense.  That she also needed to work on her common sense.  So funny, but true. Cesar is always telling people that they are the problem, not the dog.  Also very true. 

I'm not sure that being blunt is considered a first born trait but it is a trait that Cesar and I share.  Confidence is also another trait that Cesar and I share.  And we both love psychology.  No wonder I like Cesar so much.  I just wish I shared his knowledge and skills.  Cesar's innate ability to understand dogs is truly a gift from God.  A good pack leader is always calm, confident, and assertive.  Firstborns make great pack leaders.

Middle born children tend to have the following qualities: 

Adaptable

People pleaser

Go-between

Social butterfly

Dreamer

Peacemaker

Rebellious

Independent

Loyal

Feels left out

Large social circle

Thrives on friendships

Generous

Creative

Competitive

Funny

Great negotiator

My sisters and dad are all middle children with same sex older siblings. Girl, girl, girl.  And boy, boy.  So they are all true middle children.  Out of those three, I see Juliet possessing the most character traits on the list.  But I see a lot of these traits in all three of my family members who are middle children.

Last borns tend to have the following qualities: 

Self centered

Manipulative

Attention seeking

Risk-taker

Outgoing

Dependent

Social 

Persistent

Intuitive

Financially irresponsible

Fun-loving

Charming

Easy-going

Rule breakers

Free-spirited

Spoiled

My brother is not only the last born, but also the only boy.  So he certainly was spoiled.  I do see most of the traits of a last born in him.  Last borns tend to be funny, life of the party, center of attention type of people.  They also tend to be selfish, irresponsible, and manipulative.

Only children tend to have the following qualities:

Mature for their age

Loyal

Independent

Confident

Leader

Cautious

Curious

Sensitive

Conscientious

Responsible

Perfectionist

Center of attention

Approval seeking

Diligent

Only children are most similar to firstborns.  I don't know any only children so have no one to compare this list to personally.  But it makes sense.

Here's an interesting fact that I found in reading a few of the articles on birth order.  Middle children tend to be the most faithful in relationships while last borns tend toward infidelity the most.  

"In her 2003 study on birth order and relationships, researcher Catherine Salmon found that 80 percent of middle-born children claimed they had never cheated on a partner, compared to only 65 percent of firstborns and 53 percent of last-borns." 1

Only 20% of middle children claimed to have cheated on a spouse/significant other.  While a whopping 47% of last borns claim to have cheated.

That statistic is quite significant.  But, thinking about it, it makes sense because last borns tend to be risk takers and rule breakers.  It certainly fits my experience with last borns.

Applying this birth order theory to dogs, it's very similar to pack order.  Leader of the pack dogs are similar in characteristics to firstborns-- leaders, rule followers, structured.  Middle of the pack dogs are similar to middle children-- happy-go-lucky, friendly, loyal.  The back of the pack dogs are similar to last born children-- sensitive, intuitive, curious.  I love the parallel.

Cesar is right.  We are either natural born leaders, or natural born followers.  And at least in humans, birth order plays a significant role in nurturing those personality traits.

Naturally, these personality traits associated with birth order are generalizations.  But, at least in my family, they tend to be fairly accurate.  Interestingly, if there is a large gap between children (~5 years or more) there tends to be a birth order reset.  Almost like a second litter.

In the nature versus nurture debate, birth order (nurture) seems to play a significant role in development of personality traits and characteristics.

Thanks to Cesar Millan for inspiring this post.  And just for fun, I took a screenshot of my Instagram conversation with Cesar.  Here is my inspiration for writing this post:

That's my two cents.