Exercise, Discipline, Affection

Another one of Cesar Millan's mantras is exercise, discipline, affection.  This also not only applies to dog psychology but human psychology as well.  Cesar emphasizes the importance of walking your dog  as a basic necessity for having a balanced dog. But not your typical  American dog walk. Where the dog is pulling, sniffing and doing whatever it wants on the leash.  If you do it right, the exercise is more mental than physical. Because the dog has to focus on following you.  The person walking the dog has to be calm and assertive and correct the dog's behavior whenever he loses focus.

Walking the dog is also a form of discipline.  Now, when we hear the word discipline, many people think of punishment.  But that's not what it means.  Discipline is structure.  This also ties into rules, boundaries, limitations.  For instance discipline is teaching the dog to not bark and run to the door when the doorbell rings.  Or not to jump on the couch unless invited.  Or to learn that food on the floor is not a free-for-all, but that he has to be invited to eat it.  Things like that.  That's rules, boundaries, limitations and it's discipline. Waiting is a good example of discipline.  Making the dog wait until he's in a calm submissive state before putting a leash on him to go for a walk. Or making the dog wait until he's invited to eat.  Even if a bowl of food is in front of him.  That's discipline.

Affection is the easy one.  Most Americans and most dog lovers practice affection, affection, affection. And that's not healthy for the dog nor the human.  This is why Cesar has a TV show.  When you give affection to a dog when the dog is not in a healthy state, you are reinforcing that unbalanced behavior. So, for instance, if a dog is fearful and you give it affection, you are creating an association of being fearful with affection. If you give a dog affection while they are growling or being aggressive, you are reinforcing that unwanted behavior.  The only time  you should give a dog affection is when it's in a calm submissive state.  That's how you create balance and stability in a dog.  Everyone wants a balanced dog.

Affection isn't only petting the dog, saying good girl or good boy, or giving the dog food.  But affection can also be just your presence – your calm assertive energy.

To be balanced, people also need exercise, discipline, affection.  Children need mental and physical exercise.  Just like dogs, kids need to be able to run around and burn off pent-up energy.  Children also need mental stimulation for their brains to develop properly and to be balanced and stable mentally.

Children also need discipline. Children need structure. Children need rules, boundaries, limitations. Children crave discipline.  Discipline actually shows that you care and are willing to put forth an effort into raising your kids – or dogs. Unfortunately, many parents have become selfish and lazy and don't put forth the effort required to provide discipline and structure to their children. They'd rather stare at their stupid cheating machine and ignore their children – and dogs.  Discipline is absolutely necessary to create balance in children, dogs, and adults.

And of course  everybody needs affection. Dogs and humans. Everybody wants and needs to be loved. This is why a lot of people get dogs in the first place. They want that unconditional love that dogs can provide.  Because, unfortunately, a lot of unbalanced people can't find that affection in humans.  

Affection, affection, affection is not healthy for humans either.  Affection without discipline and mental and physical exercise leads to an unbalanced life.  Rules, boundaries, limitations are essential.  Structure provides stability.  Undisciplined, out-of-control people are not happy nor healthy.  Only providing affection and living without discipline – no rules, boundaries, or limits –  leads to misery.  I know plenty of miserable people who live undisciplined lives without rules, boundaries, limitations.

Now, the same principles of exercise, discipline, affection can apply to faith and religion as well.  Exercising your religion or faith is practicing it.  It is applying the principles taught in that religion to your life.  When people say they are exercising faith, they are putting their trust in God.  To exercise faith or religion requires discipline.  Structured religion is discipline.  I am a firm believer in structured religion creating balance in people's lives.  It certainly has in mine.

Exercising faith, exercising patience, waiting on the Lord, using our agency to make good choices, choosing to follow God and His commandments – all forms of discipline – are what bring us peace, happiness, confidence, love – all forms of affection. God's affection for us.

Cesar says exercise, discipline, affection.  He also says, calm, confident, love, joy.  The former brings the latter.

Exercise, discipline, and affection requires work.  A lot of people aren't willing to put forth the effort for the reward.  Cesar told the client on "Dog Whisperer" yesterday, "Life is work, lady."  Lisa and I got a kick out of that.  But it's true.  Life is work.  Anything worthwhile requires work.  If you are not willing to put in the exercise, discipline, affection.  You are not going to receive the reward of a calm, confident, happy life full of love and joy.

That's my two cents.